


Missinterpretations

by ironhawkofmischief



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Cunnilingus, F/M, Fellatio, Fem Thorin, Size Kink, bilbo is clueless, bilbo struggles with his sexuality, bilbo thought thorin was a male, cum shots, f/m relationship, hairy kink, small dick, thorin is a hairy woman
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-18
Updated: 2016-01-18
Packaged: 2018-05-14 19:29:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5755456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ironhawkofmischief/pseuds/ironhawkofmischief
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It is the day of Thorin's coronation and Bilbo is struggling with impure thoughts of having attraction towards a male. Or is he attracted to a male? when Balin asks for his help to get thorin into his clothes all becomes way too clear for Bilbo.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Missinterpretations

**Author's Note:**

> So I saw something about fem thorin/male Bilbo and had to do SOMETHING that was one shot and smutty. My headcanon like a few people's is that female dwarves do not claim to be female to outsiders because they learned they were not taken seriously by the men folk or even elves. So, they decide to just go by male pronouns plus in khuzdul there is no male or female pronouns only one pronoun. So, Bilbo went the whole quest thinking that Thorin was male to find out that no Thorin is indeed VERY female. this was also written unbetaed in like an hour or two... XD

The coronation was soon to start and Bilbo felt odd in the dwarf style clothes he wore. Plus, what was a hobbit to do during this coronation for Thorin to become king? He was just a simple hobbit who came on the journey to help reclaim a homeland. Granted, Bilbo hadn’t went home yet. Bilbo liked to believe it was because of winter settling in but that wasn’t true. Bilbo didn’t wish to leave his dwarves. Especially Thorin. Oh how Bilbo was attracted to Thorin. He tried to fight it. It wasn’t something he ever had felt before. Bilbo always considered himself straight and he liked the hobbit lasses quite a lot. 

“Bilbo! Maybe you can talk some sense into him!” Balin shouted as he walked up briskly. “Thorin is refusing to get into the proper garments for the coronation!” Bilbo blinked and looked over with a sigh.

“Oh bother, alright alright I am coming!” He moved behind Balin as Balin took him to the king’s quarters. Khuzdul was shouted from within and a few loud thumps. Maybe he threw something? Bilbo grumbled as he opened the door. “Yavanna, Thorin Oakenshield you need to wear the bloody-” He was cut off by what he saw. His eyes went wide as Thorin stood in all his...No her glory! Bilbo sputtered as Thorin turned and glared.

“I am not wearing a mahal forsaken dress! I haven’t worn a dress in over 150 years what makes you think I will do it now!? I am to be king!” He-she shouted as Bilbo stood awe struck at the half naked form of Thorin. Thorin wore a pair of small clothes covering her privates but her breasts were bare. Though Bilbo was not used to women having the furry chest such as dwarves it was actually quite lovely to him. Her breasts were supple which made his mouth water and he had to tear his gaze away to look up at Thorin in the eyes.

“You-you’re a girl!?” He gasped out as he backed up, his ears, cheeks, and nose turning bright red. “F-f-forgive me for this!” He turned on his heel ready to leave as Thorin grabbed him.

“Of course I am female! What made you think I was not?” Thorin asked, stopping Bilbo from leaving the bedroom. “I guess hobbits do not know much of dwarves and I am sorry for that.” Thorin said with a sigh. Thorin had always bathed alone or with her nephews. Bilbo thought it was a royal thing so he had never seen Thorin naked or anything less than a shirt and pants. He never once tried to look for breasts so not seeing them was actually quite easy.

Bilbo sputtered and pulled away, “well the use of male pronouns always told me you were male! The beard and deep voice. Also the fact you wear breeches and trousers not skirts and dresses! I never did see you naked so I just assumed!” He said as he whipped around. That ended in Bilbo with a face full of Thorin bust. Bilbo took in a deep breath that was slightly musky and distinctly Thorin before he pulled away, “T-terribly sorry. You should wear what Balin tells you to, good day!” Bilbo made another bee line for the door only to be stopped by Thorin again with her strong arms.

“Bilbo just wait! Please forgive me for not telling you. You see dwarven women have as much say if not more in our society as do the men. We found out that men and elves do not feel the same. In our language there is no male or female pronoun and so when put into common it is just one pronoun which is ‘he’. Yes, I am known to be king and not queen as well. I actually chose king as a title over queen because for me it is better suited. Our females and males all have beards and look fairly similar and there are less females than males. Only 1/3 of our population is female. Theres another third that are married only to their craft. We also do not look at significance at males and males or females and females being together. All is quite acceptable.” Thorin explained as she backed away from Bilbo, crossing her arms over her breasts. Bilbo was still awe struck as he stared at her.

“I see,” Bilbo finally mumbled. “All this time I was fighting with my feelings over possibly being attracted to a male only to find you are female!” He started to laugh loudly. At first Thorin chuckled then stopped.

“Feelings?” She asked and Bilbo stopped laughing and flushed as he nodded.

“I have felt something for you since the carrock when we saw Azog for the first time and you were injured. I just didn’t know how or what to say considering hobbits are not known for liking the same sex.” Bilbo explained softly. It wasn’t long before Thorin closed the gap and quickly slammed the door shut before she was pressing Bilbo against the door and devouring his lips quite hungrily.

A squeak and then a small quiet moan left Bilbo’s throat as he opened his mouth and happily let Thorin attack his mouth with kisses and nips. Bilbo pressed his own tongue out to trace Thorin’s lips which caused the king to growl softly. The hobbit let his hands roam and quickly moved up to boldly cup a breast and circle a nipple. Thorin’s head snapped back and she moaned as she arched up against the feather light touches of the smaller male. “Bed, now.” Thorin growled.

“What about the coronation? You need to get ready!” Bilbo protested as Thorin drug Bilbo to her large bed and tossed the hobbit onto it.

“They can wait for their king! It is time I rightfully claim what is mine.” Bilbo blushed at that as Thorin stalked over onto the bed after him, as if he was a piece of meat. “Plus, I don’t need to be ready for another few hours. Balin just likes to get things done early.” she purred quietly. Bilbo nodded at that as Thorin grabbed him and sat him up.

Thorin made short work of his tunic as she tossed it across the room and onto the floor. Her strong hands started to tease and play with Bilbo as Bilbo had done to her. He moaned quietly as she tweaked and played with his sensitive little buds. His cock throbbed in the pair of trousers he wore as he arched against her and rutted against her thigh.

“You are quite the sensitive little thing... This will be quite the treat.” She purred as she pressed her leg against his crotch to let him rut against it shamefully. Bilbo knew he wouldn’t last long even under these light ministrations. He had only experimented as a young hobbit with lasses and it had been way too many years since he felt anything other than his hand.

“S-stop!” He gasped and quickly pulled away as he turned his face from Thorin and flushed. Thorin sat up and blinked looking confused for a second.

“Did I do something wrong? you seemed to be enjoying yourself.” She murmured and Bilbo shook his head.  
“It has been too many years since I have felt the touch of another. I am afraid I will spill too soon...” Bilbo mumbled shyly as Thorin chuckled quietly.

“Oh well we can’t have that can we?” She goaded as she leaned forward and kissed him softly on the lips. Bilbo responded in earnest, fingers going to run through the coarse hair on her chest and then back down to play with her nipples gently. She moaned into his mouth as her nipples hardened against his assault. Thorin pulled back with a pant as she grabbed his hand and pressed it between her legs to feel her heat.

“I am so incredibly wet and I want to feel you inside of me.” she murmured with a small growl. Bilbo’s eyes went wide as he groaned and pressed the heel of his hand against her. He could feel how much heat she was radiating off of her pleasure space.

“Off,” Bilbo mumbled as he tugged at the laces. Thorin happily complied as she backed up and pulled the small clothes off quickly, leaving her completely bare down below. Bilbo took in the sight and groaned. She was just as furry and hairy as every where else. Not something he generally liked but oh how he was pleased this time around. Bilbo could see her folds and they seemed to be glistening with arousal. That made his mouth water and his heart flutter at the thought of pleasuring his king with his own mouth. Bilbo was unsure if his cock size would please Thorin.

Bilbo had seen the male dwarves naked quite a bit and they were all larger and fatter than his own smaller hobbit cock was. He was blunt and only maybe 5 inches fully hard. Where as from what he could see they ranged from 6 to maybe even 8 inches in length but also quite thick around the girth. 

Thorin slowly descended onto the bed and Bilbo took that moment to surprise her and flip Thorin onto her back. Granted, if she wasn’t willing even surprised she could over power the smaller hobbit, but from the looks oh she wanted it. Bilbo bent to give her a quick and sloppy kiss before he trailed down and began to kiss her chest and nuzzle her chest hair. He had to undo the laces on his own trousers to relieve the pressure put upon them from how aroused he had became but left himself inside, at least for now.

Thorin moaned and encouraged Bilbo as Bilbo moved to kiss her right breast. As his tongue came out, his fingers came up to pinch and pleasure the left nipple. Both nipples were quite hard as he finally took one into his lips and sucked gently. Thorin bucked her hips and moaned even louder as Bilbo tortured her breasts. She was slowly grinding and rutting against anywhere she could to relieve some friction upon her pleasure space.

Bilbo happily pressed his own hips down and rolled them against Thorin’s as they rutted in sync for pleasure. Bilbo pulled back as he finished pleasuring Thorin’s hardened nipples as he moved down her body for more. The closer he got to her pleasure center, the more she moaned and thrust her hips up. He gingerly left kisses upon her skin and even pressed his tongue into her belly button once or twice to entice more moans from her throat.

Yavanna, Bilbo was so hard and he knew there was a wet spot forming on the front from where he was oozing out pre cum. Bilbo ignored his arousal for now only wanting to pleasure his king. The hobbit shimmied down until his face was right in front of Thorin’s throbbing cunt.

He took in a deep breath and moaned quietly at how distinctly Thorin she smelled down below. Gingerly, he let a tongue out and started at the top of her pubic bone and swiped down. Thorin seemed to tense and then shuddered as the tongue played right by her pearl but did not touch it. “Bilbo, please more.” Thorin begged as her strong hands gripped into the honey curls of Bilbo’s head.

Bilbo just moaned as he moved his head and slowly, tenderly swiped right into her folds and across the small pearl. The sound that Thorin made almost made him cum right on the spot. Thorin was beautiful, head tossed back and her hair mussed, breasts heaving from pleasure and her thighs shivering as he bent in and started the swipes up and down and around her pearl. Thorin happily ground her hips up against Bilbo to get more friction. 

The hobbit gladly took it as Thorin started to ride his face to chase her pleasure. It started out with shallow thrusts and a few rolls of her hips. Though that changed as he licked and pressed against her folds. Especially when he moved down and darted his tongue into her hole and lapped at the essence leaking out. She had shouted something out in Khuzdul and quickly grabbed his head to hold him in place. Thorin started to buck and grind against his tongue, nose, and chin until she was gasping. 

Thorin happily chased her pleasure until she was screaming her orgasm out against Bilbo’s tongue. Bilbo happily lapped her all the way through her orgasm and until she went lax and let go of his head as he slowly sat up. His face was a mess of her cum but he didn’t mind as he grinned at Thorin. Thorin smiled and chuckled as she sat up. “you are quite the sight.” she teased as she grabbed a handkerchief from the bedside table and cleaned his face up. “Now, how about your pleasure?” she purred as she turned the tables and flipped the smaller hobbit beneath her.

Bilbo made a small squeaking sound and quickly grabbed her hands away from his trousers. “I..I am quite alright! I can relieve myself in the loo it is fine!” He said batting her hands off as she frowned.

“What prey tell is the matter, master Baggins?” She asked. “It isn’t like I have not seen a naked male body before! Dwalin and I have shared many a baths!” she said as Bilbo shook his head and gulped.

“W-well you see its just...” He stuttered out quietly. “I...I am a lot smaller than dwarves and I do not know if... if I could uh...please you?” Bilbo said finally as Thorin blinked.

“yes, I figured you would be smaller and even in the downstairs area, but that does not bother me one bit. I would still love for you to pleasure me with your sword.” She purred gently as she quickly pulled his trousers and small clothes down. Bilbo stood completely erect, nestled in a tuft of golden hair that matched his head. He turned his head in shame as Thorin stared at him, as if she was evaluating his stature. 

“You are not that small Master Baggins and I believe you could pleasure me quite nicely with your tool.” Thorin finally murmured as she grasped him and started to stroke slowly. Bilbo gasped as his hips automatically thrust up against the pleasure and he shivered softly.

“Y-you sure?” Bilbo asked, still rather nervous. Though, Thorin just purred against yes out before she bent to lap at the head of his cock, cleaning him of his precum. That made Bilbo moan shamefully as Thorin easily took his cock all the way into her throat a few times. Bilbo forced Thorin off though with another pant. “any more and I will spill down your throat..” Thorin hummed and licked her lips.

“Another time I wish for you to spill your seed in my throat it would feel amazing.” She murmured and quickly moved to lay back down upon her back. “On top, I want you to take me just like this...” Bilbo gulped and nodded as he settled between her legs.

Awkwardly, the hobbit gripped the base of his cock and slowly angled his hips until the tip was pressing against her folds. He groaned at how slick she still was and slowly he pressed himself in. Thorin moaned softly as Bilbo pressed his small cock into her and she happily thrust her hips back to get Bilbo to bury himself to the hilt. It was quite an amazing feeling to have the hobbit inside of her hole. Something she had longed for the whole journey. Even if Bilbo was not as large as a dwarf and couldn’t touch all the spots she wanted it still felt quite amazing. Plus, that was what fingers and tongues were for yes?

Bilbo took a second to adjust before he pulled out and then thrust back in with a quiet moan. Thorin wrapped her strong thighs around his hips and helped the thrusts as she met him thrust for thrust. It didn’t take long at all. Bilbo was on edge as it was from eating his king out to his king swallowing his cock whole like a lolli. His hips stuttered as he started to thrust harder and faster, gasping as his hands held onto her thighs.

Thorin moaned as she pressed back with every single thrust and gladly took him stride of stride. “Not inside of me.” She gasped out. “Don’t spill inside of me just yet! I do not want to become with child!” Thorin panted as Bilbo nodded. A few more thrusts and he pulled out, quickly fisting his small cock in his hand until he groaned his orgasm out. Large ropes shot from his cock and covered her stomach and thighs in his seed. His eyes closed as he stroked himself through his orgasm until he was done.

At that, he fell back upon his butt and took in a deep breath. His eyes opened to see Thorin completely debauched and running her fingers through the cum and bringing her fingers to her mouth to suck the cum off of them quietly. Bilbo groaned at that and she just smiled.

“You taste magnificent.” She purred out and pulled Bilbo to lay down next to her. “Now, how about a nap before we go to my coronation? I think I will wear that dress if only to have you by my side.” 

Bilbo gave a grunt of approval and buried his face against her neck before cuddling close.

**Author's Note:**

> if you like review please


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